Reminders

So many things to say and so little time to say them in! What an afternoon and a half, filled with confusion, pride, chaos, sharing, and muppetry at it's finest!

Lily came out of school in high spirits today, and we embarked on a big adventure. This involved queueing. Lots of queueing... and lots of noise, and kiddies pushing through, and Lily accidentally being run over by her little brother's pram. Twice.
Usually such chaos would be so far beyond her range to cope with I wouldn't subject her to it (or subject other people to the outcome of me subjecting her to it..). Today, however, Lily was very forgiving.
She lined up beautifully, tutted pushy kiddies, gave her little brother lots of attention, didnt once complain about the noise (other than to put her hands over her ears on occassion and take a deep breath), and to see her waiting her turn, along with everyone else, you would never guess she is autistic.

The other parents made more fuss than she did, and I'm sure I must have been glowing with pride by the time we reached the single table, the cause for all the chaos. Though I didn't glow with as much pride as Lily did, I'm sure, when she came away from the ordeal with her prize... "disco ticket"!

Now we just need to brave the actual disco next week.


That would be a good note to end today's entry on, I know, but so much more happened once we got home.
Lily decided she wanted to teach her little brother how to share. Her aim? To coax him to give her a single cracker.

Hats off to her, she tried very very patiently and lovingly for about 20 minutes. Each time she held out the packet and asked him very nicely to give her one. She even said please without needing reminders. Phillip would dutifully reach in, pull out a cracker and proceed to shove it straight in his mouth.
Lily would wait patiently for him to finish then try again, with the same result. I did try to explain that, at 14 months old, her little brother doesn't quite understand yet.
 Moments later Lily squeeked with delight "Him GIB me one mummy! Him DO it!!"
   (he'd actually dropped it.. but darned if I'll break it to her.)

With all the caring and sharing and amazingness, I once again found myself questioning her diagnosis. I suppose I always will. But I had a healthy reminder during the adverts tonight.
Lily's never been too fussed by Harry Potter. As long as Mummy doesn't purposely put it on, it's okay. Occassionally an ad comes on, and thats ok, it will "go way". (Besides, the music's nice to twirl to.)

Tonight, however, an advert came on and almost immediately Lily retreated to a ball on the sofa, hands firmly over ears, eyes squinty - so she doesn't miss the moment that it's safe to open them again, but everything's blurry so it's not really like watching it..

Pretty much looking like Mummy does when a scary film comes on. (Or when she looks at a bill...)

It took me a while to figure out the issue. Harry Potter advert... ok, not usually that much of a problem... same music, children talking about how cool it is to see behind the scenes, ride a broom, learn spells, nothing untoward... so why is she whimpering.....

(I need to point out here that as much as I would have loved to protect her from whatever was scaring her by turning the tv off or over, Mummy is NOT allowed to touch the remote until the program is finished. Simpsons was only halfway through when adverts hit)

Then it struck me. The children werent there. They were adults. But when the adult spoke, a child's voice came out.

It was a very clever advert, and I must admit.. I kinda want to go.... it does look fun.

But to Lily, those voices from that source was the stuff of nightmares.

A humble reminder that all is not as it seems in her world.

It's ok. I gave her a cracker. She's fine.