Changes

My children get a slight cough and BLAM! I get hit by virus hell. Shaky, exhausted, racing heart, fever, evil cough of doom. How on earth did my little cherubs escape all these symptoms? (don't get me wrong, I'm very very glad they did! I'm just jealous dagnabbit!)

Unfortunately this has a brought on a few panic attacks. Gets to everyone at some point, I'm sure. It's just extra unfortunate that those panic attacks coincided with the school runs, which led to staff finding me somewhere out of the way to sit and plying me with cold things to hold and cool water.

I know that sounds very thoughtful of them, and it truly is. The staff at Lily's school have been nothing short of amazing in how they handled the situations, it was just utterly humiliating to be on this end of it. Poor Lily was so worried, too, and unlike a lot of the other children, she doesnt have the ability to verbalise this. Well, she has the ability, she just doesn't know how to express it properly yet... so it comes out in lashing out at staff and running away.

Autism can be hard to live with, changes in routine (or changes in health in mum) can result in the world breaking apart around you, but you can't understand why, you just feel angry, sad, scared. None of which are emotions you understand either... it's all very confusing.

I see my daughter struggle with what we take for granted as simple emotions on a daily basis. I also know how much harder it's going to be for her over the coming months as once again we move home.

Having been evicted due to landlord wanting to sell this lovely house, we have until the end of april to vacate... so a huge change for Lily..

I'm sure anyone that reads this will know how stressful moving can be. Between packing everything cherished into boxes ("does that mean they're gone now we cant see them?"  "are we selling them?"  "can I have them back?"  "are you going to pack me?") and the actual moving.. this is time consuming, and hard for anyone to go through... let alone Lily.

We have to actually find somewhere first too...

Teachers may have to start wearing shin pads.