One of the best things about being a parent, or working with children, or having some childy influence in your world is the magic it brings with it. The raw belief in the simplest things. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Magic Sock Land (a secret pocket that exists in every washing machine to help us keep our socks odd)... Literally anything is believable, just use the word Magic and you can't go wrong.
Lily has a new phase. Fairies. This is utterly brilliant, partly because it reminds me of when I used to believe in them. I'd climb the trees and look around every leaf, or every flower hoping to catch a glimpse of one. Lily brought home a fairy, it started on her hand, but after a while of walking with her hand stretched out, palm up in front of her I figured it must be aching, and told her the fairy had moved to her shoulder. She got so happy that it came to life for her.
When we arrived home she carefully directed this piece of air onto the mantlepiece "So Phiwip can't get it, Mummy"
This morning on the way to school Lily entrusted Mummy with the magic behind getting fairies. It was the pure, innocent, angelic type of magic. The type that melts hearts worldwide (not in a yucky painful way), and is contagious. Very contagious. This magic has already spread to other children, and they've been giving her more fairies. Our mantlepiece is very very full, it's almost poetic that it can be utterly empty now that we're packing, and full at the same time.
The best part? It's simple magic. Anyone can get a fairy.
In the words of Lily
"You put you hands togefer like dis..." *assuming prayer hands*
"Dem you shut you eyes.." *peeks to make sure Mummy's eyes are closed*
"Now, you has to say it 5 times or it no work. 5 times Mummy. 5! You watch I show you how dem do it"
Anyone would think she was praying. Her voice a light whisper because fairies like it better quiet..
"I wish I hab a fairy
I wish I hab a fairy
I wish I hab a fairy
I wish I hab a fairy
I wish I hab a fairy"
*poof* Spiderman Fairy. Bet Stan Lee didn't see that one coming...
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
Monday, 12 May 2014
Dagnabbit
Sometimes it crosses my mind that I'm worse than Lily... that I cause the problems..
(okay.. a lot of the time)
I know just how much she struggles on a day to day basis because I fight the same battles. I get the sensory issues, I'm not that great with loud noises, not to the extent Lily gets affected by them, but I understand the impact they have on her and why she reacts the way she does.
There was a time I couldn't get her to wear socks because she said they hurt her feet. We're past that now, but for all the times I cursed in my mind when all I was trying to do was keep my lass's feet warm, I didnt step back and compare my own sensory issues to hers at the time. I wish I had, I'd have understood it better sooner. I'm not a big fan of socks either, or gloves. They make my hands/feet tingle and that drives me nuts. When I do wear socks, they have to be odd ones. Why? Because I'm an odd person, I guess.
Lily struggles with changes to her routine, but to her credit it's a short lived hiccup most of the time... that's more than I can say for myself. If plans change for me I re-evaluate everything several times over and every scenario that could be entailed, and I panic. I panic for days (if there's that much warning), and constantly worry, it affects my sleep, and eating habits, suddenly at the slightest things I completely overreact. Anyone that is a friend has the patience of a saint because goodness knows what it must seem like from the outside looking in. (Good grief did that woman just tear the living room apart because she couldn't find a hair tie? What a nutcase!)
Social situations are like a form of torture, unless I've known the people for a while. I tend to end up sitting quietly, running through scripts in my head, playing out conversations before I've had them, thinking of possible replies, and half the time don't actually open my mouth to attempt them. Once I'm comfortable I'll stumble my way through small talk. After years of practice I can blag my way through a conversation now most of the time. Some days it's effortless, others my voice seems to run away...
Lily is just starting out on the social road... and I already see her pulling away from it, much to my despair. Not despair that she's not interacting normally etc, but despair that it's already hard for her, and despite my understanding, I still have no idea how to help her past it.
There are so many ways that me and Lily are so alike. It never hit me until the last time I took her to the pediatrician. It was our first meeting (her other one retired), We hadn't spoken much of me, just the home situation, and Lily's behavior, speech, social, etc. Regular stuff. The appointment lasted about 40 minutes I think, and during that time Lily had very calmly trashed the doctor's office. At the end the doctor asked Granny and Lily to tidy up, and turned to me and said "Did you know you may be autistic?".
That was so many months ago, yet my brain is still playing it over and over, like a lifeline. All those times I felt like I didnt fit, all the pacing back and forth on the verge of tears when someone was a few minutes late, peering out the window every few seconds to see if they were nearly here.. all the defense mechanisms, and things I had to learn the long way around because I just couldnt naturally get to. It's like a puzzle piece clicked into place.
The same puzzle piece that clicks into place every time I see lily dance to her own tune, oblivious to the world around her because she's safe in her own bubble, or go mental because there's a drier in the public toilets.. In fact every situation I see her struggle through, and mentally curse (usually through impatience, I must admit).. then when I have a quiet moment to myself I get lost in my own head and replay it all and realise.. you know what?
I'm the same.
(okay.. a lot of the time)
I know just how much she struggles on a day to day basis because I fight the same battles. I get the sensory issues, I'm not that great with loud noises, not to the extent Lily gets affected by them, but I understand the impact they have on her and why she reacts the way she does.
There was a time I couldn't get her to wear socks because she said they hurt her feet. We're past that now, but for all the times I cursed in my mind when all I was trying to do was keep my lass's feet warm, I didnt step back and compare my own sensory issues to hers at the time. I wish I had, I'd have understood it better sooner. I'm not a big fan of socks either, or gloves. They make my hands/feet tingle and that drives me nuts. When I do wear socks, they have to be odd ones. Why? Because I'm an odd person, I guess.
Lily struggles with changes to her routine, but to her credit it's a short lived hiccup most of the time... that's more than I can say for myself. If plans change for me I re-evaluate everything several times over and every scenario that could be entailed, and I panic. I panic for days (if there's that much warning), and constantly worry, it affects my sleep, and eating habits, suddenly at the slightest things I completely overreact. Anyone that is a friend has the patience of a saint because goodness knows what it must seem like from the outside looking in. (Good grief did that woman just tear the living room apart because she couldn't find a hair tie? What a nutcase!)
Social situations are like a form of torture, unless I've known the people for a while. I tend to end up sitting quietly, running through scripts in my head, playing out conversations before I've had them, thinking of possible replies, and half the time don't actually open my mouth to attempt them. Once I'm comfortable I'll stumble my way through small talk. After years of practice I can blag my way through a conversation now most of the time. Some days it's effortless, others my voice seems to run away...
Lily is just starting out on the social road... and I already see her pulling away from it, much to my despair. Not despair that she's not interacting normally etc, but despair that it's already hard for her, and despite my understanding, I still have no idea how to help her past it.
There are so many ways that me and Lily are so alike. It never hit me until the last time I took her to the pediatrician. It was our first meeting (her other one retired), We hadn't spoken much of me, just the home situation, and Lily's behavior, speech, social, etc. Regular stuff. The appointment lasted about 40 minutes I think, and during that time Lily had very calmly trashed the doctor's office. At the end the doctor asked Granny and Lily to tidy up, and turned to me and said "Did you know you may be autistic?".
That was so many months ago, yet my brain is still playing it over and over, like a lifeline. All those times I felt like I didnt fit, all the pacing back and forth on the verge of tears when someone was a few minutes late, peering out the window every few seconds to see if they were nearly here.. all the defense mechanisms, and things I had to learn the long way around because I just couldnt naturally get to. It's like a puzzle piece clicked into place.
The same puzzle piece that clicks into place every time I see lily dance to her own tune, oblivious to the world around her because she's safe in her own bubble, or go mental because there's a drier in the public toilets.. In fact every situation I see her struggle through, and mentally curse (usually through impatience, I must admit).. then when I have a quiet moment to myself I get lost in my own head and replay it all and realise.. you know what?
I'm the same.
Thursday, 8 May 2014
Hmm...
What shall I regale you with today?
Do I speak of how my amazing lass has finally tried to clean herself up after using the bathroom...?
(cue image of Mummy wading through 4 unraveled toilet rolls with a plunger and many many towels)
How about the heartwarming bond between the Minions of Doom?
(Mummy thought Phillip was screaming in terror/pain. Mummy thought she was going to find him missing a limb..
They were playing peek-a-boo with the curtain.
Mummy worries too much.)
Ooh, ooh, the sudden interest she's developed in helping Mummy tidy!
(she wiped down the surfaces and the chairs, and swept up. Mummy returned later with towels and broom)
(Mummy needs to put towels on the shopping list, we're getting through a lot at the moment, washing machine cant keep up with supply and demand)
No? How about when she helped do the laundry...
(gosh knows how that resulted in a mixture of Bold and cat biscuits through two rooms...)
The new cd for today..
(War of the Worlds.. because it sounds "pretty".. I bet that was totally what they were going for....)
Actually, how about the moment she didn't know I was watching. A rare secret moment Mummy doesn't know about. She took Phillip's hand and slowly, quietly walked around the livingroom with him. Over and over again, watching him lovingly. He would stumble, and she would patiently help him up and continue, or give him a cuddle until he was ready to try again. Without a word, just teaching him how to walk.
I don't know how often they've been doing this, that was the first I had seen it, but to look at them you'd think it was second nature, that they do that all the time.
This afternoon Phillip walked the furthest he's managed unaided, and Lily was cheering him on, clapping, smiling, and giving him cuddles and kisses.
The joy on both their faces was wonderful.
Do I speak of how my amazing lass has finally tried to clean herself up after using the bathroom...?
(cue image of Mummy wading through 4 unraveled toilet rolls with a plunger and many many towels)
How about the heartwarming bond between the Minions of Doom?
(Mummy thought Phillip was screaming in terror/pain. Mummy thought she was going to find him missing a limb..
They were playing peek-a-boo with the curtain.
Mummy worries too much.)
Ooh, ooh, the sudden interest she's developed in helping Mummy tidy!
(she wiped down the surfaces and the chairs, and swept up. Mummy returned later with towels and broom)
(Mummy needs to put towels on the shopping list, we're getting through a lot at the moment, washing machine cant keep up with supply and demand)
No? How about when she helped do the laundry...
(gosh knows how that resulted in a mixture of Bold and cat biscuits through two rooms...)
The new cd for today..
(War of the Worlds.. because it sounds "pretty".. I bet that was totally what they were going for....)
Actually, how about the moment she didn't know I was watching. A rare secret moment Mummy doesn't know about. She took Phillip's hand and slowly, quietly walked around the livingroom with him. Over and over again, watching him lovingly. He would stumble, and she would patiently help him up and continue, or give him a cuddle until he was ready to try again. Without a word, just teaching him how to walk.
I don't know how often they've been doing this, that was the first I had seen it, but to look at them you'd think it was second nature, that they do that all the time.
This afternoon Phillip walked the furthest he's managed unaided, and Lily was cheering him on, clapping, smiling, and giving him cuddles and kisses.
The joy on both their faces was wonderful.
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
The Reward Chart
We have one of those Sticker reward charts on the livingroom mantlepiece. You know the kind, I'm sure. Four weeks seperated into days, if certain tasks are complete the child is rewarded with a sticker to go on the current day, and at the end of the week you tally up and they get a cookie.. or a comic.. or some form of treat as a reward for all their accomplishments.
Lily had one of these when she was 3, but until recently the concept was lost on her. Mainly because she had no sense of time, it took quite a while to get to the point where she can put things in order, there are yesterdays, there are tomorrows. Things have happened, things will happen and theres a cause and effect to our actions. Actually we're still working on it, but she has the basics now.
We started a new reward chart in March, Granny presented her with a beautiful princess one, and a book of hundreds of stickers. At first we used it to reward Supersuns and Hair Washes, and gradually other things have crept in (like getting dressed, calming rather than screaming, getting to school on time, not running off, being helpful, eating, everyday normal things). Mummy started a tally, in March there were 13 stickers for the month. April had 12...
April was a tough one, 5 weeks on a 4 week chart, Mummy got confused and started the May one in April so we'll have an extra week.
Lily has been saying she wants a "pooter wif minecraft om it". I think we must be one of the few households not to have one of those. I have a very old and slow laptop, but it wouldnt survive the onslaught of Minecraft.. and it doesnt have a CD drive..
Cue genius moment...at the start of the month Mummy said to Lily for every sticker she earns Mummy will put £1 to the "pooter wif minecraft om it" fund. (figuring £12-13 per month is definitely do-able)
Bearing in mind we're only on the 6th, Lily has already amassed 12 stickers.
I think I'm being hustled.....
Lily had one of these when she was 3, but until recently the concept was lost on her. Mainly because she had no sense of time, it took quite a while to get to the point where she can put things in order, there are yesterdays, there are tomorrows. Things have happened, things will happen and theres a cause and effect to our actions. Actually we're still working on it, but she has the basics now.
We started a new reward chart in March, Granny presented her with a beautiful princess one, and a book of hundreds of stickers. At first we used it to reward Supersuns and Hair Washes, and gradually other things have crept in (like getting dressed, calming rather than screaming, getting to school on time, not running off, being helpful, eating, everyday normal things). Mummy started a tally, in March there were 13 stickers for the month. April had 12...
April was a tough one, 5 weeks on a 4 week chart, Mummy got confused and started the May one in April so we'll have an extra week.
Lily has been saying she wants a "pooter wif minecraft om it". I think we must be one of the few households not to have one of those. I have a very old and slow laptop, but it wouldnt survive the onslaught of Minecraft.. and it doesnt have a CD drive..
Cue genius moment...at the start of the month Mummy said to Lily for every sticker she earns Mummy will put £1 to the "pooter wif minecraft om it" fund. (figuring £12-13 per month is definitely do-able)
Bearing in mind we're only on the 6th, Lily has already amassed 12 stickers.
I think I'm being hustled.....
Thursday, 1 May 2014
Huzzah!
Brilliant day today! Lily was given the opportunity yesterday to eat in the dining hall with everybody else, a situation that she may find uncomfortable, given her sensory issues.. what with all the noise, and... people...
But big mean Mummy wouldn't let her be lost to the fray, Mummy insisted she be allowed in with the normals.. partly because she needs to be able to cope with those situations if she's to stay in mainstream education.. partly because I don't like the fact she's apart from everyone so much, so many things let everyone know shes "diffent"..
Mostly because I know she can do it. When I suggested it, there was umming and ahhing, and a reminder of why she eats in a separate room (because she went a while with only eating one thing off her plate).. but Mummy insisted a trial, and so it was that Lily, little spontaneous minion that she is, dined with a room full of people. Chattering, clinking, noise in abundance. She ate everything (except the potatoes, she doesn't like those and never has.. but a note was made that she left them, we mustn't have completely clear first try...)
Mummy had insisted this happened at least once a week, in the view it would increase over time so she could be with her peers.
Today, Lily wanted to go dine in the hall again, much to staffs surprise. Lily says she wants to eat in there every day. I know. She told me 4 times on the way from school to car this afternoon.
Cue one triumphant Mummy. One very, very proud Mummy.
Also, Lily got an achievement! A rarely bestowed SuperStar for Math. She independently managed 4 digit addition, something like 4321+3425 on her own.
That's my girl!
(I'm beaming, can you tell just a little?)
But big mean Mummy wouldn't let her be lost to the fray, Mummy insisted she be allowed in with the normals.. partly because she needs to be able to cope with those situations if she's to stay in mainstream education.. partly because I don't like the fact she's apart from everyone so much, so many things let everyone know shes "diffent"..
Mostly because I know she can do it. When I suggested it, there was umming and ahhing, and a reminder of why she eats in a separate room (because she went a while with only eating one thing off her plate).. but Mummy insisted a trial, and so it was that Lily, little spontaneous minion that she is, dined with a room full of people. Chattering, clinking, noise in abundance. She ate everything (except the potatoes, she doesn't like those and never has.. but a note was made that she left them, we mustn't have completely clear first try...)
Mummy had insisted this happened at least once a week, in the view it would increase over time so she could be with her peers.
Today, Lily wanted to go dine in the hall again, much to staffs surprise. Lily says she wants to eat in there every day. I know. She told me 4 times on the way from school to car this afternoon.
Cue one triumphant Mummy. One very, very proud Mummy.
Also, Lily got an achievement! A rarely bestowed SuperStar for Math. She independently managed 4 digit addition, something like 4321+3425 on her own.
That's my girl!
(I'm beaming, can you tell just a little?)
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