Sleep

So it was that Mummy, for the first time in many many moons, got both minions to bed before 10pm.

Actually, that's not overly true. Pixie is in dreamland, yes, he's good at dreamland at night. I never knew bedtime could be so relaxing a routine for a minion. He goes without fuss, a simple wash, brush, change, jamas, sing night night to the world, sing night night to him, biiiiig cuddle and a kiss, down into bed, covers, teddy, and a bottle. Light out, say goodnight again, and that's it. It's rare now that he will wake and cry in the night. I'll saunter on through about 7:30-8am and he'll be sitting there, waiting patiently. He'll hand me an empty bottle, and while I go fill it with water, the cheeky monkey will hide behind the curtain. Every morning without fail. I'll go in and pretend I don't know where he's gone. Despite the fact the curtain is only long enough to cover his head. The rest of him is completely visible, but hey. He can't see me, therefore I obviously can't see him. This is a level of cuteness that is beyond compare, and I get the lucky moments of starting my day with it.

Of course Lily will already be up by then, she'll have had breakfast (I'll be able to tell by the milk and cereal decorating the kitchen sides and floor. Apparently some of it also makes it to the bowl), and be playing a game or watching a film by then.. I honestly don't know how much sleep she has. I am usually asleep before her of an evening. It's 10:27pm right now and I still hear her running back and forth in her bedroom. It's become my lullaby.

Then again, when I was little I was the same. I'd drag the big books off the landing to look at the pictures, play games, build forts, anything but actually sleep. Of course eventually the sandman would catch me, but I was usually up before everyone else in the morning, too. It's funny how it has come back around to that through her. She's so like me in so many ways. 

Joys of Costumes

Lily and Mummy have had adventures. We're quite good at these now. Mummy managed to get us all the way to Peterborough, copious amounts of tombola tickets and cookies were enjoyed. Many prizes won, and lots of pictures taken with all sorts of characters. Lily was much more into the  whole "pose with this one so Mummy can take a cool picture" thing. She was very helpful, and seemed to really enjoy the day. Cutest Harley Quinn ever. Not that I'm biased, of course.

The adventure continued on the way home, when Mummy's car decided to try and join in the sing song. The beeping and flashing red lights weren't the right pitch, but it had a good try. We broke down about 4, and finally rolled in the front door somewhere in the region of 11 I think. Tis a good job we managed to nurse the car in next to a Tesco so there was plenty of amenities when needed. Plus we got to entertain lots of people that really weren't expecting to see a big and little Harley Quinn. 

A week later and the car is back on the drive at last, I never knew a switch could be so expensive.


So it was that Half term crept upon us like a stealthy ninja thing. 6 more sleeps and we'll be dressing up again! Yay!!

Poor School

Lily has a two week grace period whenever there is a significant change. Change happens... Two weeks go by without much of a reaction, she's well behaved, polite, she has her moments, but for the most part peace reigns supreme.

Basically she lulls you into a false sense of security. You just forget what the other side is like for a little while. I know this and it still gets me every time.

The new class at school is one such significant change. I said before it happened about the grace period. When people have asked how she's doing, I've said things are going well in school, but wait two weeks, then you can tell what sort of day she's had by how stressed the teacher looks at pick up time.. We laugh about it, we carry on with our days, and the teacher keeps saying good things, and although the reminder is there whenever someone asks, it becomes more of a joke than a warning, because hey, it's good news each day.

So yes, I get lulled into a false sense of security too. Every time.

Well the grace period appears to be up. Poor lass had an interesting end of the week. Her teacher had her first glimpse of "a big moment". There was screaming ,there were limbs flying in all directions.. Biggest "wobble" they've come across since the start of Year 2.

I kinda feel sorry for them, because I know it wasn't a huge one. This is Lily starting to feel at ease, starting to let loose. Now we give her a two week mental period and hope she evens out and settles again.


In a way, I'm grateful for this. She's unleashing her wrath of doom at school, and though I'm getting some of the aftermath wrath, it's nowhere close to our usual battles, and for the most part at home she's a dream at the moment. She even spent time playing with her little brother today.

Now all I need to do is coax her to eat something other than beans on toast.

What a Weekend

Lily graced the school with her prescence on Friday, under protest from Mummy, as the minion of delight still seemed quiet. But hey, no messes to clear up in over the allotted time, so Mummy gave in, took her in, and sat by the phone waiting for the inevitable "Come get her" phone call... that didn't appear. About lunchtime I rang the school to find she had been very quiet, but good.... so I guess this means we are now officially in our 2 week grace period..

For those that don't know Lily, this works pretty simply. It takes her 2 weeks after a change, to become accustomed enough to it that she can... relax. Give it 2 weeks, and lets see how stressed the teacher looks at hometime to see what type of day Lily had...

She really didn't want to leave school today, she was in tears, and trying to bolt, purely because she didn't want to come home. I'm still not sure why, when I tried to ask her she explained it beautifully... with her back to me whilst running in circles, quietly, while her little brother was playing with the saucepans. She can only tell me things one time at the moment so I guess that one was lost to the void.

We had a fantastic weekend! Lily finally met Spidermans Friends! She even met Spiderman, selected a new piece of art for her wall, and became rather attatched to Harley Quinn. Mummy met some pretty cool people too, got some autographs, convinced Lily to pose with people she didnt know.. then to pose with Harley Quinn.. the difference in facial expressions from her between the 2 pictures is awesome..

We even got a cuddly Dalek.. None shall mess with us now.

I've promised her we'll go again next year. It really was amazing, and our first convention, better than I could have imagined!

She didn't even mind when costumed people interacted with her, in fact, she went and introduced herself to them. Cue Mummy standing back, beaming proudly.

That's my girl!

Here We Go Again... Oh.. Maybe Not Then...

Today's the big day! The day that parents and children look forward to and dread at the same time..
The day that invariably you wake up inexplicably early, and are ready long before it's time to leave.
Children lined up, smart, new clothes, new shoes, setting an example. The air crackling with exitement and excitable greetings and nervous chatter ensue as they await the doors opening.

First day in a new Year. That means new classrooms, new teachers, a new way into and out of the school. Holidays are officially over, back to alarm clocks and beggings of haste over breakfast.

Unless you're Lily. Then you're really having a bad day. Poor wee lass isn't well. I can tell when it's bad, because she becomes so unlike herself it drives me to distraction.

Lily usually spends her time flapping about and running back and forth, playing "tend game"s, making constant demands, generally her presence cannot be missed. She's loud, she's bright, she's full of that limitless energy I wish I could bottle so I could make a small fortune.

Today Lily has been on the couch. She watched the telly without actually watching it.. just staring in its' general direction. She slept, she's taken small sips of water. She hasn't eaten a thing all day. Not quite true. She ate the eyes, nose and mouth out of a billy bear for dinner.. then migrated back to the couch voicing something unintelligible (face scrunched up, whiny voice), where she has stayed since.

Her little brother occassionally attempts to make contact, and is either screamed at or ignored. All in all she's feeling (and looking) pretty sorry for herself.

This has a very slight upside to it, Mummy has gotten some pretty awesome cuddles today.

Tick tock

Today Lily wanted a disco. We put the radio on and turned it right up. We closed the curtains so it could be a "real one". We closed all the doors as well, though I'm not sure why. Each time the carer came through she was told "you cyose door, you wooin it. Don't wooin anyfing".
The disco lasted from 9:30 until past lunchtime.. that when mummy decided she needed a break and put a film on. Lily is still running back and forth, no idea were she is getting all the energy from!

4 more sleeps until Year 2 starts. 7 more until we see Spider-Man's friends. The countdown is in full swing. Actually the countdown for that has been going since I bought the ticket. Mummy's ears need to hear a new countdown.

Need Sleep

It's been quite a while since I last posted a snippet of our lives on here, it's been quite empty in our worlds of late.

The summer holidays upon us, we fell into a routine. Same thing, day in, day out, for much of the last 6 weeks. There have been moments that I've been so far dragged down, I've been sunk to the floor, sobbing, and unable to see how there can possibly be another day on the horizon, where no amount of closing my eyes can stop the tears flowing.  Nights that seem endless, I can go through the motions, and lay my head on those pillows, but sleep will not or cannot find me. I wish it would swallow its' pride, stop, and ask for directions already.

Those have usually been at the end of days that Lily has struggled the most, though who's pushing who lower in those cases I'm not sure. Was I perhaps already low, and she simply picked up on it? That would of course make her feel uneasy, confused, unstable.. perfect recipe for a hard day for us both, and once I've hugged her tight and kissed her goodnight, that floor is welcome and waiting for a jolly good cry. (at which point I tend to get stuck. Mobility is not my friend)

I guess that's why I've not posted in a while. Truth is right now I'm struggling. Struggling, mainly, to convince myself that I exist. We've had overall, a good summer holiday. We've had our own adventures as a family. We've been to the zoo, to the city, the woods, the parks, we've danced in the rain, picked blackberries, had homecooked meals, and even been graced with the presence of dear friends once in a blue moon.

Lily has increasingly shrank more into her own shell. She's been to 3 parties, and barely interacted with those around her at any of them. She speaks, she sings, she dances, but her world will only grudgingly touch another, and briefly. It seemed the more we went out, the further she sank. It hurts me to watch, not knowing how to reach her in there. 

Of course this hasn't been constant, there are moments worlds open, and you get a glimpse. Usually when she wants something.
A friend of hers visited this week.   They watched the Lego Movie, had a bounce on the trampoline. Other than "Big Sammy", "Little Sammy" has managed to get the most reaction from her in the last 6 weeks.

This time next week, Lily will be back at school, facing a new year, a new classroom, in with everyone else for as long as they can manage. I hope she'll do well. She's looking forward to it. And in 9 sleeps, we get to stay in a hotel, and in 10 more sleeps, Lily finally gets to meet "Spiderman's Fends"

I can hear her going in circles in her room right now, talking to them on her poster. Telling them she'll be there soon. Asking them to please not eat her, she wants to be their friend.

So it is, I finally send another snippet out into the void. The joys of trying to raise two minions, one of which is autistic, while mental health inexplicably tethers you. World domination will just have to wait.

At least until I've had a nap, dagnabbit.